Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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