Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
