My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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