At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
