she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
