you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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