I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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