the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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