I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just threw up on my dentist
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
