The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
