READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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