we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
