Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's rum buckets o'clock
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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