his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
