She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
