All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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