you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
