Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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