i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
