I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
