i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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