He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
