im so drunk with asians
where?
always
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
