just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
