she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
