So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
