No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize