I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
