Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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