Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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