in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
