I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
