apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize