does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
