awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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