remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
