grandma shit on top of the toilet
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
