there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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