i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
