I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
There's always time for handjobs
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
