Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize