one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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