But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
