so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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