What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
