summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
