I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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