He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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