I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
