halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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