If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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