I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
