I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Is Oprah even human
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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