Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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