We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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