is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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