So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
