I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
