ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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