I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
bring money and cleavage
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Randomize
