I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
