woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
