I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Randomize
