I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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