Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I wish I could teleport
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
